The Bond

The components of the Relationship Triangle™ alone are critical characteristics that anyone can build internally to make themselves better or utilize to evaluate the potential benefits and obstacles in having a relationship with another person.  However, these components are only as strong as what holds them together where they connect.  The bond is not only what holds the Relationship Triangle together, but is also used to repair the damage that the relationship experiences.

Love and Forgiveness
In the Relationship Triangle design, the center of the triangle holds what I consider the greatest symbol for love and forgiveness…the cross.  The lines extending from that center carry through the seams of the triangle and have a greater presence in between the components.  This is because love and forgiveness like an epoxy, combine to create the bond that makes a Relationship Triangle solid.  Additionally, this is the very bond used to repair the inevitable damage that relationships sustain; remember – relationships aren’t perfect, because people aren’t perfect.  The seams of the relationship triangle are held together by the bond of love and forgiveness because it takes love and forgiveness to build a relationship and repair one.

Love
What is love to you?  The answers to this question vary from one side of the spectrum to the other.  Truthfully, many people do not have a simple answer for love; maybe it is indicative of the world that we live in and the selfishness that has influenced much of our society.

Most people define love as a feeling, even the dictionary defines love in the context of “a strong affection arising out of kinship”*, however as you continue to study love you realize that love is not a feeling, it is a decision and the emotion that we experience is based on the decision of love at the time.  Feelings are inconsistent, unstable and reactionary.

Love on the other hand is a decision, you decide to love someone even at times when you don’t feel like it.  It is easy to call feelings love when the all is well, but when you choose to put those you love before your feelings…that’s love.

Love truly is the most powerful thing we can experience because it is the ultimate esteem from another person and the most unselfish act that we can give to others.

It is still important to remember that not all levels of love are the same.  There are three common levels; agape love (the God kind of love), felio love (brotherly love) and eros love (intimate or erotic love).  The level of love applied depends on what level of relationship is appropriate.  Regardless of the level, love is still a decision.

Forgiveness
The most common misconception of forgiveness is that it is intended to free the offender, but on the contrary, it is the key to freedom for the offended.  Forgiveness holds enormous power, it enables you to regain a greater level of control in your life.  Forgiveness is a valiant characteristic of the strong, yet it too is as simple as a decision.

Like love, forgiveness is a choice.  It is the choice to release jealousy of vengeance for someone’s offense toward you.  To give it to God and let Him deal with it in His time and in His way.  As long as you have a jealousy to see them pay, you are bound to the offense.

Forgiving someone doesn’t mean that you forget what happened or that you allow the offender to regain a position of importance in your life.  It simply means that you choose to release the need for revenge and stop re-living the offense.  You move on and move forward to freedom and in the process regain the power and control you forfeited to the offender, the event and the jealousy for revenge.  You learn the lesson from the event and leave it in your past freeing you to better enjoy your future.

Once you understand the true meaning of love and forgiveness, you can understand how they are co-dependent on one another and vital to the building, repairing and maintaining of successful relationships.  Relationships aren’tperfect because people aren’t perfect.  This bond helps us to get beyond the imperfection of others…and ourselves.